You will know the difference between a love that is ordained by God and a love that is not. There are so many ways through which it becomes so apparent whether a man is for you or not.
There are two reasons why you may want to try to take the reign in your own hands as a woman when it comes to your love.
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It is simply not orchestrated by God
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this man is not being led by God (he is not in his healthy masculine).
When God orchestrates your love.
The truth is that if God has orchestrated your love, your soul will know that. Your body will know that. And you will not be tempted to let your imagination lead you into all possible pathways of how this love will come to unfold and manifest itself.
You will not have to worry about how it will all work out. You will not even want to do so. Because you deeply trust Godโs ability to lead the unfolding of the relationship, and you deeply trust your manโs ability to lead your relationship too. (even if you are still in the beginning stages). But more of that in the second part.
When God orchestrates your love your whole being is able to rest in trust. Your body is able to soften into the present moment, your mind is able to melt in is-ness, your soul will stop searching and your heart will open more deeply.
Questioning how things will unfold and wondering about the exact process that it will take for you two to get together, is like planting a seed and constantly digging through the mud to check if itโs sprouted already.
When your love has been ordained by God, your body, mind, soul and heart knows that you do not need to check on the seed. You do not need to go and dig into the ground to check and control. You will not be worried about how it will all fall into place. Because itโs already written.
When you are in the beginning stages of a relationship, talking to a man or dating a man before getting into a relationship, (if you are anything like me, you will fill your head with scenarios that have yet to happen and ways through which it can all unfold) You will imagine the dates you will go on and you will imagine how it will all lead into a relationship, your mind will try to control the process and you will latch onto a certain outcome.
โ At least, that had been my experience with dating for the longest time, until I stopped attributing it to some inherent flaw in who I am, and began to recognise it as a residue of my hyper-independence.
And while I believe a touch of romanticising and dreaming isnโt necessarily harmful, there is a chance it creates expectations and an image around a person that only leads you away from who they actually are, and away from what is happening right now.
So, a love from God should bring you peace, trust and true surrender. It does not inspire in you thoughts of control or intense planning. God is taking care of all of that.
He is not letting being led by God (he is not in his true masculine)
A man that is not clear, direct and intentional with his actions and with you, is not in his divine masculine. The truth is, that the space you have in your mind for imagination, is the space he is leaving empty through his lack of clarity and direction.
A truly masculine man is one that naturally inspires you to simply be. This means that he naturally invokes in you the beingness of being. He invokes in you your presence, your soft feminine, your divine womanhood, your surrender and your trust. Note that he is not forcing your trust, he is not rushing your trust. His masculinity is naturally inspiring your trust. Where there is true surrender and trust, there is no space for control. His leadership allows you to soften fully, to rest your mind and to let him lead you into that which God has planned for you. Because you trust his leadership, and you trust his relationship with God.
When you find yourself having the tendency to want to control the progression of a relationship or the way that things may develop with this man, that only means that he is not sufficient in his leadership, and inspiring in you the tendency to take control and lead it yourself. That is not your fault, neither is it his. But it is your responsibility to recognise that is not the man for you and move on.
Sometimes what initiates this desire to take control and try to have it all perfectly planned out, is when you may feel confused or unsure about where it is going. Some women then fall into a maybe old habit of taking control or demanding clarity. I donโt think thereโs anything wrong with asking for clarity, however the fact that you would have to ask is already an extremely clear sign. A sign of either his disinterest in you or his lack of leadership and masculine energy. Your confusion is the clarity in this scenario.
A man who is in his true masculine and who is serious about you, will make that extremely clear. He will also not leave much space for you to imagine; his consistent actions will speak louder than any fantasy. The reality of the situation will be far more beautiful, enchanting and attractive than your imagination.
With love,
Isle
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