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longform

(55 articles)

A modern Apocrypha in Ancient Hebrew. Chapters 1-2

## א א בְּעִידָן הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ הַשְּׁלִישִׁית, כְּשֶׁשָּׂרַר אָבִיב עוֹלָם עַל הָאָרֶץ: ב וַיִּשְׁכֹּן שָׁם שֵׁבֶט עַל גְּדַת הַנָּהָר שֶׁבַּצָּפוֹן: ג וְיָלְדָה אֵשֶׁת רֹאשׁ הַשֵּׁבֶט בֵּן: ד וַיִּהְיוּ שַׂעֲרוֹת הַיֶּלֶד כְּזָהָב הַטָּמוּן בַּאֲדָמָה, וְעֵינָיו עֲמֻקּוֹת כַּתְּהוֹם: ה אֵם הַיֶּלֶד חִכְּתָה לְשׁוּב אָבִיו, וְהוּא לֹא שָׁב: ו וַתֵּדַע כִּי מֵת אִישָׁהּ, הַלָּבִיא הֲרָגוֹ: ז וַתִּמָּלֶאנָה עֵינֶיהָ דְּמָעוֹת, וַתֵּרֶא הָאֵם אֵת בְּנָהּ: ח וַתַּבֵּטְנָה עֵינָיו בָּהּ, וְלֹא הָיוּ עַל עֵינָיו דְּמָעוֹת: ט וַתֵּרֶא כִּי אֲדֻמּוֹת לְחָיָיו, וַתִּקְרָא אֶת שְׁמוֹ דָּם: י וַיְהִי דָם דּוּמָם מְאֹד, כִּי הַבִּינָה שָׁכְנָה בוֹ: יא וַיֵּבְךְּ רַק לְעִתִּים רְחוֹקוֹת, וַיִּשְׁמַע בְּקוֹל אִמּוֹ בַּכֹּל: יב וַיְהִי דָם שׁוֹנֶה מִשְּׁאָר יַלְדֵי הַשֵּׁבֶט, וְלֹא דָמָה לָהֶם: יג שַׂעֲרוֹתָיו וְעֵינָיו הָעֲמֻקּוֹת הִפְחִידוּ אֶת הַיְּלָדִים: יד וַיְהִי דָם כְּאַחֵר בְּתוֹךְ שִׁבְטוֹ: טו הַיְּלָדִים הִתְרַחֲקוּ מִמֶּנּוּ, וְגַם הָאֲנָשִׁים נִמְנְעוּ מִמֶּנּוּ, וְרַק אִמּוֹ אָהֲבָה אוֹתוֹ: טז דָם נִדָּח בֵּין בְּנֵי שִׁבְטוֹ, וְגַם אִמּוֹ הָיְתָה נִדַּחַת עִמּוֹ: יז דָּם דִּבֵּר עִם אִמּוֹ בִּלְבַד, כִּי אִישׁ מִלְּבַדָּהּ לֹא חָפֵץ לְדַבֵּר עִמּוֹ: ## ב א וַיְהִי דָּם בֶּן שְׁלוֹשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה, וְהוּא בַּיַּעַר, וַיְלַקֵּט פֵּרוֹת וְגַרְגִּירִים: ב וַיִּשְׁמַע דָּם קוֹל נְפִילָה, וַיִּשְׁמַע צְעָקוֹת וְגֶנְחוֹת, וַיֵּלֶךְ לְעֵבֶר הַקּוֹל: ג וַיֵּרֶא דָּם נַעֲרָה וְעוֹרָהּ חִוֵּר, וְהִיא מְנַסָּה לִקְטֹף פְּרִי מִן הָעֵץ: ד וַיִּגַּשׁ מֵאַחֲרֵי גַּבָּהּ, וַיֹּאחֶז בְּמָתְנֶיהָ וַיָּרֶם אוֹתָהּ; וַתִּקְטֹף אֶת הַפְּרִי: ה וַתִּפֶן אַחֲרֶיהָ, וַתֵּרֶא אוֹתוֹ וַתִּבָּהֵל, וַיִּפֹּל הַפְּרִי מִיָּדָהּ: ו וַיֶּאֱדַם דָּם, כִּי הֵבִין מִתְּכֵלֶת עֵינֶיהָ כִּי יָרְאָה מִמֶּנּוּ; וַיָּרֶם אֶת הַפְּרִי, וַיִּתֵּן אוֹתוֹ בְּיָדֶיהָ, וַיֵּלֶךְ: ז וַיְהִי מִמָּחֳרָת, וַתָּבֹא הַנַּעֲרָה אֶל דָּם, וַתְּבַקֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ לַעֲזֹר לָהּ לִקְטֹף פֵּרוֹת מִן הָעֵץ: ח וְהַנַּעֲרָה וּשְׁמָהּ לִילִי, וַתְּהִי בַּת שְׁתֵּים עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה׃  ט וַיָּחֵלּוּ דָּם וְלִילִי לָלֶכֶת יַחְדָּו לְבַקֵּשׁ אֹכֶל; וַתְּהִי קוֹמַת דָּם מֵאָה שִׁשִּׁים וְחָמֵשׁ, וְקוֹמַת לִילִי מֵאָה וְשִׁשִּׁים: #litstr #writing #longform #artstr #hebrew #apocrypha #outlaw #originalcontent #censorship_resistant #nostr #literature #fiction #gnosis #opensource #Sirius73

Why Painting is Actually Terrifying

Everyone says painting is relaxing, but standing in front of a blank piece of paper or a canvas feels more like a fight for your life. Here's why the fear is actually the point: *** We usually talk about the act of painting as this zen, meditative thing. We imagine an artist in a flow state, lost in colour. But if you’ve ever actually stood in front of a fresh canvas, you know that’s a lie. There is a specific, quiet brand of terror in the studio. It’s not about failing a class or losing money – it’s about exposure. *** To paint is to step onto a psychological ledge. *** The fear starts with the blank surface. It’s a vacuum. Every time we make that first mark, we’re essentially ‘killing’ every other potential version of that painting. We carry the ghosts of every masterpiece or painting we’ve admired into the room with us, and the gap between our vision and our hands feels like an unbridgeable divide. *** Unlike digital art or writing, there is no ‘undo’ button. The stakes aren’t just mental; they’re physical and financial. It’s hard to stay ‘expressive’ when we’re staring at tubes of paint and brushes that have cost us more than we could afford. Suddenly every brushstroke feels like we’re spending money. We stop painting from the heart – terrified that our lack of talent is going to waste good materials. *** This leads to a lack of certainty. In most jobs, effort equals progress. In painting, we can work for 6 hours and end up with something significantly worse than what we were looking at at noon. We’ve all been there: the piece is 95% done. It’s actually quite good, we reason. But, we think, ‘just one more highlight’. We go in with a kind of bravado – too certain – try to wipe it away, and suddenly we’ve smeared a muddy grey hole into the focal point. *** That fear of ‘the fatal stroke’ is why so many half-finished canvases are leaned against studio walls. Because we pour such immense emotional investment into the work – treating the canvas as a mirror of our worth – a bad painting doesn’t just feel like a failed project; it feels like a personal indictment. *** A painting is a physical record of every mistake we made. Our hesitation is right there in the brushwork. Our lack of technical skill is staring back at us in the pigment. But here’s the thing: that fear is actually the compass. If we aren’t afraid of the canvas, we’re probably just repeating what we already know. The anxiety is the proof that we’re doing something real. It’s the friction required to generate heat. *** Painting isn’t about control. It’s an encounter with the unknown. It does not let us control fully. It asks for participation, not mastery. The surface speaks back. It resists. It changes. It surprises. *** It is in that tension – in the doubt, in the risk, in the exposure – that painting becomes worth doing at all.

Between Lecture Halls and City Streets

It was one of those nights where the rain isn't dramatic enough to feel poetic, it's just… constant. Not even heavy. Just thin needles of water that find every gap in your jacket and slowly convince your body that warmth is a rumor. I was waiting at a red light, balancing the bike with one foot on the curb, the other clipped into the pedal like I'm pretending I'm in the Tour de France instead of delivering someone's late-night ramen. My phone was strapped to the handlebars in its cheap plastic case, vibrating every few seconds like an anxious little pet. I could feel the app watching me. Not literally, but you know what I mean — that quiet pressure of being tracked, timed, evaluated. And I was thinking about a bug. Not the kind crawling up the streetlight pole. The kind I left in my code an hour earlier, back when I was still indoors, still "a computer science student" instead of "a wet person on a bicycle." There's this moment that happens sometimes when I'm riding. My legs are burning and my hands are stiff and my brain suddenly decides: *Now* is the perfect time to solve something. Not at my desk with tea and a second monitor. No. Now. In the rain, at 1 a.m., while a car behind me honks because I'm not accelerating fast enough. The bug was simple, too. One of those things that makes you want to throw your laptop out the window because it's small and dumb and somehow has total control over your mood. A missing edge case. A little misbehaving loop. Earlier, I'd stared at it until my eyes got that dry-glassy feeling from the screen glare, and the imposter syndrome started doing its usual performance: *Maybe you're not actually good at this. Maybe you're just stubborn.* But on the bike, with water dripping off my helmet into my eyes, I thought: *Wait. If the state changes here, then the message gets sent twice.* Like my brain had been quietly debugging in the background while my body did something else. --- It's funny how different kinds of exhaustion feel. Mental exhaustion is like being wrapped in fog. Physical exhaustion is honest. Your thighs hurt because you used them. Your back aches because you carried a backpack full of drinks up five flights of stairs. It's almost comforting, in a weird way. Like: okay, at least this pain has a clean explanation. In computer science, the pain is more abstract. Sometimes I leave a lecture and I'm not sure if I learned something or if I just watched someone else be smart for ninety minutes. I'm in my late twenties, which means I'm older than a lot of my classmates, but still somehow feel like I'm behind. Not behind in a measurable way — I don't have a spreadsheet of my failures — but behind in that internal sense of everyone else having gotten a secret beginner's guide to life. And I'm also a woman, which is still a thing in computer science in a way I didn't fully understand before I started. I knew the statistics. I knew the "women in STEM" stuff. I knew the polite version of the story. But living inside it is different. It's small moments. Death by paper cuts. Like being one of three women in a lecture hall of eighty people, and feeling your body become slightly more present because you're aware of being visible. Like when the professor asks a question and the same three guys answer every time, fast and loud, and the rest of us disappear into our laptops. Like when you do answer and someone looks surprised — not impressed, not annoyed, just *surprised*, like you accidentally spoke in the wrong language. Sometimes it's not even something anyone says. It's the little assumption hovering in the air: that you're visiting. That you're here temporarily. That the real builders are somewhere else. And sometimes it *is* something someone says. A guy in my study group once explained Git to me like I was a lost tourist asking for directions. I didn't even ask. He just saw my screen, saw the terminal, and his whole body went into "helper mode." I remember saying, "Yeah, I know," probably too sharply. And then spending the next hour silently punishing myself for not being nicer about it. That's one of the weirdest parts. I can recognize the sexism, and still somehow I'm the one doing emotional cleanup afterward. --- Meanwhile, on the bike, nobody cares if I understand Git. They care if their food is warm. Delivery work has its own kind of gender stuff, but it's different. Out there, I'm more like a moving object than a person. A cyclist in dark clothes. A reflective stripe. A backpack. People see me, but they don't really *see* me. Sometimes I deliver to these beautiful apartments with staircases that echo. The kind of place where the air smells like expensive candles. I stand there in my soaked jacket and dripping hair and I feel like a ghost that wandered in from a different layer of the city. And then the door opens and someone takes the bag without looking at my face. "Danke." The door closes. And that's it. Two seconds of contact. Other times it's more human. A tired dad juggling a baby and a key. A student with wet socks too, smiling like we're in the same club. Once, a woman opened the door and just went, "Oh my god, it's awful out. Are you okay?" like she'd remembered I was a person. I almost laughed because it felt so unexpected. I said, "Yeah, I'm fine," which was a lie, but a friendly one. There's a version of me that exists only in those doorways. A service. A function call. Input: money. Output: food. And the whole thing is controlled by this app that pretends to be neutral. It assigns routes and times and priorities. It pushes me toward busy streets at the worst moments and then punishes me for being slow. It's capitalism with a UI. The irony is not subtle: I spend my days learning about distributed systems, about fault tolerance, about protocols and coordination and how centralized points of control become points of failure — and then I spend my nights literally being managed by a centralized algorithm that knows my location better than my friends do. --- Sometimes, waiting outside a restaurant while the kitchen is behind schedule, I stare at the map on my phone and think about how much power is hidden inside "optimization." Like, who decided what "efficient" means? Efficient for whom? At university, "algorithm" is a clean word. It lives on whiteboards. It gets proven and analyzed and admired. On the street, it's sweaty and impatient and slightly humiliating. It's the thing that makes my phone buzz at the exact moment I finally take a sip of water. It's the thing that sends me across town for a four-euro delivery because "demand." The lectures don't talk much about that part. Or they do, but in a theoretical, distant way. Like ethics is a side quest. I didn't choose computer science because I wanted to be part of a shiny tech future. I chose it because the internet was the first place that ever felt like it belonged to everyone, and then I watched it get slowly fenced off. I remember being younger and finding Linux forums where strangers would help you for free, just because knowledge was meant to move. I remember the first time I read about peer-to-peer networks and felt my brain light up — not because I understood everything, but because the idea was so… respectful. Like the system wasn't built around one authority. Like it assumed people could be trusted to cooperate. Now I'm on Nostr, which is messy and stubborn and sometimes full of questionable vibes, but also feels alive in a way most platforms don't. People write like humans there. They argue like humans too. There's no invisible feed ranking my thoughts. No "creator mode." Just posts traveling between relays like little messages in bottles. It's not perfect. Nothing is. But I like that it doesn't pretend to be my friend while also trying to monetize my attention. And I think my delivery job is part of why decentralization matters to me more than it does to some of my classmates. Because when you've been on the receiving end of "the system decided," you start to hate that phrase. When the app decides your shift. When rent decides your lifestyle. When the university decides whether you're allowed to keep studying based on paperwork that nobody can explain. When some guy in a group project decides you're the "documentation person" and not the "real coding person" and you don't even notice it happening until later. It's not the same scale, obviously. But it's the same feeling: being a node that doesn't get a vote. --- I don't want to romanticize my situation. I'm not out here suffering heroically. I have privilege, too. I'm in higher education. I can read papers and complain about architectures and think about protocol design like it's art. That's a luxury. The fact that I can even spend time caring about decentralization is, in itself, a kind of privilege. But it's also a struggle that feels… thinly held together. Like if I get sick for a week, the whole thing wobbles. If my bike breaks, my income disappears. If I fail an exam, I lose a semester. There's no buffer. There's no graceful degradation. Fault tolerance, but for humans. Still working on that. Sometimes, I'm in a study group and someone makes a joke about "people who do unskilled work," and I'm sitting there with bruises on my shins from slipping on wet tram tracks, thinking: you have no idea how skilled you get at not dying in traffic. And also: you have no idea how much your systems depend on those workers you're dismissing. Your food, your packages, your convenience. All delivered by people treated like temporary infrastructure. It makes me see "users" differently, too. When professors talk about "the user," it's always abstract. A rectangle in a diagram. A persona. A stick figure. But my users are real. They open the door in socks. They have tired eyes. They forget to write the correct address. They order ice cream in winter. They tip sometimes, and sometimes they don't, and it's hard not to read meaning into that even though I know it's complicated. And then I go home and I open my laptop and I'm building things for "users" again, except this time it's a program, not a pizza, and the distance feels bigger. --- I wish I could say there's a clean connection between these two parts of my life. Like I'm learning valuable lessons on the bike that make me a better engineer, and my studies are empowering me to fight the gig economy from within, and everything is thematically aligned. But mostly it's just… my life. Some days I feel strong. Like I can do this. Like I can be tired and still keep going. Like I'm allowed to take up space in computer science even if I'm not the loudest person in the room. Other days, I feel stupid. I make a tiny mistake and it spirals into "maybe I don't belong here." I get mansplained something basic and it sticks under my skin longer than it should. I deliver food to someone in a warm apartment and feel this sharp, irrational anger at the whole setup. And in the middle of all that, I still genuinely like computers. I like the feeling when something finally works. I like the elegance of a clean protocol. I like when a complicated idea clicks. I like being part of a community where people care about these things deeply, not because it's trendy, but because it affects real freedom. I just don't want to have to become a different person to stay in it. I don't want to harden into someone who's always performing competence. I don't want to laugh off the weird comments and pretend I'm unaffected. I don't want to be the "exception" or the "inspiration." I want to be allowed to be average sometimes. To learn slowly. To ask questions without apologizing. --- Tonight, after my last delivery, I carried my bike up the stairs and my legs were shaking in that satisfying way that means I actually did something physical. My room smelled like wet fabric and cheap chain lube. I peeled off my gloves and my fingers were wrinkled like I'd been swimming. I opened my laptop anyway. The screen felt too bright, like it was judging me. I fixed the bug in ten minutes. Of course. And for a second, I just sat there and watched the code compile, feeling this quiet mix of pride and annoyance. Pride because I solved it. Annoyance because I had doubted myself so hard earlier. Maybe that's the overlap between the lecture hall and the streets: both keep offering me reasons to doubt my place. And I keep showing up anyway. Not because I'm brave. Not because it's a "journey." Just because I'm here, and I want to understand the systems we're living inside — the ones we write, and the ones that write us back.

Psalm 119

Aleph. How blessed are those whose way is blameless, Who walk in the law of the LORD. How blessed are those who observe His testimonies, Who seek Him with all their heart. They also do no unrighteousness; They walk in His ways. You have ordained Your precepts, That we should keep them diligently. Oh that my ways may be established To keep Your statutes! Then I shall not be ashamed When I look upon all Your commandments. I shall give thanks to You with uprightness of heart, When I learn Your righteous judgments. I shall keep Your statutes; Do not forsake me utterly! Beth. How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. With all my heart I have sought You; Do not let me wander from Your commandments. Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You. Blessed are You, O LORD; Teach me Your statutes. With my lips I have told of All the ordinances of Your mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies, As much as in all riches. I will meditate on Your precepts And regard Your ways. I shall delight in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your word. Gimel. Deal bountifully with Your servant, That I may live and keep Your word. Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law. I am a stranger in the earth; Do not hide Your commandments from me. My soul is crushed with longing After Your ordinances at all times. You rebuke the arrogant, the cursed, Who wander from Your commandments. Take away reproach and contempt from me, For I observe Your testimonies. Even though princes sit and talk against me, Your servant meditates on Your statutes. Your testimonies also are my delight; They are my counselors. Daleth. My soul cleaves to the dust; Revive me according to Your word. I have told of my ways, and You have answered me; Teach me Your statutes. Make me understand the way of Your precepts, So I will meditate on Your wonders. My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word. Remove the false way from me, And graciously grant me Your law. I have chosen the faithful way; I have placed Your ordinances before me. I cling to Your testimonies; O LORD, do not put me to shame! I shall run the way of Your commandments, For You will enlarge my heart. He. Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, And I shall observe it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law And keep it with all my heart. Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, For I delight in it. Incline my heart to Your testimonies And not to dishonest gain. Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, And revive me in Your ways. Establish Your word to Your servant, As that which produces reverence for You. Turn away my reproach which I dread, For Your ordinances are good. Behold, I long for Your precepts; Revive me through Your righteousness. Vav. May Your lovingkindnesses also come to me, O LORD, Your salvation according to Your word; So I will have an answer for him who reproaches me, For I trust in Your word. And do not take the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, For I wait for Your ordinances. So I will keep Your law continually, Forever and ever. And I will walk at liberty, For I seek Your precepts. I will also speak of Your testimonies before kings And shall not be ashamed. I shall delight in Your commandments, Which I love. And I shall lift up my hands to Your commandments, Which I love; And I will meditate on Your statutes. Zayin. Remember the word to Your servant, In which You have made me hope. This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me. The arrogant utterly deride me, Yet I do not turn aside from Your law. I have remembered Your ordinances from of old, O LORD, And comfort myself. Burning indignation has seized me because of the wicked, Who forsake Your law. Your statutes are my songs In the house of my pilgrimage. O LORD, I remember Your name in the night, And keep Your law. This has become mine, That I observe Your precepts. Heth. The LORD is my portion; I have promised to keep Your words. I sought Your favor with all my heart; Be gracious to me according to Your word. I considered my ways And turned my feet to Your testimonies. I hastened and did not delay To keep Your commandments. The cords of the wicked have encircled me, But I have not forgotten Your law. At midnight I shall rise to give thanks to You Because of Your righteous ordinances. I am a companion of all those who fear You, And of those who keep Your precepts. The earth is full of Your lovingkindness, O LORD; Teach me Your statutes. Teth. You have dealt well with Your servant, O LORD, according to Your word. Teach me good discernment and knowledge, For I believe in Your commandments. Before I was afflicted I went astray, But now I keep Your word. You are good and do good; Teach me Your statutes. The arrogant have forged a lie against me; With all my heart I will observe Your precepts. Their heart is covered with fat, But I delight in Your law. It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes. The law of Your mouth is better to me Than thousands of gold and silver pieces. Yodh. Your hands made me and fashioned me; Give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments. May those who fear You see me and be glad, Because I wait for Your word. I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are righteous, And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me. O may Your lovingkindness comfort me, According to Your word to Your servant. May Your compassion come to me that I may live, For Your law is my delight. May the arrogant be ashamed, for they subvert me with a lie; But I shall meditate on Your precepts. May those who fear You turn to me, Even those who know Your testimonies. May my heart be blameless in Your statutes, So that I will not be ashamed. Kaph. My soul languishes for Your salvation; I wait for Your word. My eyes fail with longing for Your word, While I say, “When will You comfort me?” Though I have become like a wineskin in the smoke, I do not forget Your statutes. How many are the days of Your servant? When will You execute judgment on those who persecute me? The arrogant have dug pits for me, Men who are not in accord with Your law. All Your commandments are faithful; They have persecuted me with a lie; help me! They almost destroyed me on earth, But as for me, I did not forsake Your precepts. Revive me according to Your lovingkindness, So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth. Lamedh. Forever, O LORD, Your word is settled in heaven. Your faithfulness continues throughout all generations; You established the earth, and it stands. They stand this day according to Your ordinances, For all things are Your servants. If Your law had not been my delight, Then I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget Your precepts, For by them You have revived me. I am Yours, save me; For I have sought Your precepts. The wicked wait for me to destroy me; I shall diligently consider Your testimonies. I have seen a limit to all perfection; Your commandment is exceedingly broad. Mem. O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandments make me wiser than my enemies, For they are ever mine. I have more insight than all my teachers, For Your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, Because I have observed Your precepts. I have restrained my feet from every evil way, That I may keep Your word. I have not turned aside from Your ordinances, For You Yourself have taught me. How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth! From Your precepts I get understanding; Therefore I hate every false way. Nun. Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path. I have sworn and I will confirm it, That I will keep Your righteous ordinances. I am exceedingly afflicted; Revive me, O LORD, according to Your word. O accept the freewill offerings of my mouth, O LORD, And teach me Your ordinances. My life is continually in my hand, Yet I do not forget Your law. The wicked have laid a snare for me, Yet I have not gone astray from Your precepts. I have inherited Your testimonies forever, For they are the joy of my heart. I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes Forever, even to the end. Samekh. I hate those who are double-minded, But I love Your law. You are my hiding place and my shield; I wait for Your word. Depart from me, evildoers, That I may observe the commandments of my God. Sustain me according to Your word, that I may live; And do not let me be ashamed of my hope. Uphold me that I may be safe, That I may have regard for Your statutes continually. You have rejected all those who wander from Your statutes, For their deceitfulness is useless. You have removed all the wicked of the earth like dross; Therefore I love Your testimonies. My flesh trembles for fear of You, And I am afraid of Your judgments. Ayin. I have done justice and righteousness; Do not leave me to my oppressors. Be surety for Your servant for good; Do not let the arrogant oppress me. My eyes fail with longing for Your salvation And for Your righteous word. Deal with Your servant according to Your lovingkindness And teach me Your statutes. I am Your servant; give me understanding, That I may know Your testimonies. It is time for the LORD to act, For they have broken Your law. Therefore I love Your commandments Above gold, yes, above fine gold. Therefore I esteem right all Your precepts concerning everything, I hate every false way. Pe. Your testimonies are wonderful; Therefore my soul observes them. The unfolding of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple. I opened my mouth wide and panted, For I longed for Your commandments. Turn to me and be gracious to me, After Your manner with those who love Your name. Establish my footsteps in Your word, And do not let any iniquity have dominion over me. Redeem me from the oppression of man, That I may keep Your precepts. Make Your face shine upon Your servant, And teach me Your statutes. My eyes shed streams of water, Because they do not keep Your law. Tsadhe. Righteous are You, O LORD, And upright are Your judgments. You have commanded Your testimonies in righteousness And exceeding faithfulness. My zeal has consumed me, Because my adversaries have forgotten Your words. Your word is very pure, Therefore Your servant loves it. I am small and despised, Yet I do not forget Your precepts. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, And Your law is truth. Trouble and anguish have come upon me, Yet Your commandments are my delight. Your testimonies are righteous forever; Give me understanding that I may live. Qoph. I cried with all my heart; answer me, O LORD! I will observe Your statutes. I cried to You; save me And I shall keep Your testimonies. I rise before dawn and cry for help; I wait for Your words. My eyes anticipate the night watches, That I may meditate on Your word. Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness; Revive me, O LORD, according to Your ordinances. Those who follow after wickedness draw near; They are far from Your law. You are near, O LORD, And all Your commandments are truth. Of old I have known from Your testimonies That You have founded them forever. Resh. Look upon my affliction and rescue me, For I do not forget Your law. Plead my cause and redeem me; Revive me according to Your word. Salvation is far from the wicked, For they do not seek Your statutes. Great are Your mercies, O LORD; Revive me according to Your ordinances. Many are my persecutors and my adversaries, Yet I do not turn aside from Your testimonies. I behold the treacherous and loathe them, Because they do not keep Your word. Consider how I love Your precepts; Revive me, O LORD, according to Your lovingkindness. The sum of Your word is truth, And every one of Your righteous ordinances is everlasting. Shin. Princes persecute me without cause, But my heart stands in awe of Your words. I rejoice at Your word, As one who finds great spoil. I hate and despise falsehood, But I love Your law. Seven times a day I praise You, Because of Your righteous ordinances. Those who love Your law have great peace, And nothing causes them to stumble. I hope for Your salvation, O LORD, And do Your commandments. My soul keeps Your testimonies, And I love them exceedingly. I keep Your precepts and Your testimonies, For all my ways are before You. Tav. Let my cry come before You, O LORD; Give me understanding according to Your word. Let my supplication come before You; Deliver me according to Your word. Let my lips utter praise, For You teach me Your statutes. Let my tongue sing of Your word, For all Your commandments are righteousness. Let Your hand be ready to help me, For I have chosen Your precepts. I long for Your salvation, O LORD, And Your law is my delight. Let my soul live that it may praise You, And let Your ordinances help me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, For I do not forget Your commandments.